How many friends do you actually speak with each day?

For me, that number is pretty small. I probably talk with an average of three friends a day that I don’t see through work on a regular basis.

 At this stage in my life, I have high school friends, college friends, work friends in Alabama, work friends I knew from Alabama that are all spread out, Florida friends, Floridia friends who have moved on, people from vacation trips….. Well, you get the picture.

Each of us has a big network of people we swore we’d never lose touch with.

But in an effort to stay connected, we’ve really become disconnected from actual conversation.

I said I spoke with three people each day. But how many people do I have conversations with via  e-mail, myspace, text messages and IMs?

 That number bumps to about 15, on a daily average.

Sure, I can talk with five people at once in virtual land. But that’s not the same as a true conversation.

You can’t hear the tone in someone’s voice. Sarcasm at it’s fullest is lost.

And, “I miss you” comes across so much sweeter when it’s heard, rather than read.

By multi-tasking while you talk, sure, you can pay your bills, check movie times and get the latest game score as you chat it up with someone who’s states away.

 But is that exchange of time worth missing out on the laughter or smile someone’s voice and personality can bring with a simple word?

Is the trade off worth diverting your attention away from real time spent catching up with friends and family?

I’m highly guilty of it.

In an age of cell phones with free long distance plans, I should pick up the phone and call Jennifer in Nevada, Justin in California or Alvin in New York.

But I rarely do. I’m losing my REAL connections.

I have good, but distant, instant message conversations with a friend who lives 10 minutes down the road from my apartment.

And I know, it isn’t always feasible to visit in person or tie up the phone lines when you could be doing laundry, cooking, watching television and surfing the net at the same time.

I’m just as guilty as anyone.

I realized my “disconnect” a couple of weeks ago when I saw old work friends for the first time in a month or so. I had been so involved in the day-to-day that I forgot that some of the best parts of me, I find in them.

I walked in a local hang out recently and my friend Rachel grabbed my face and wrapped me in a hug and said, “Is this real? You’re here. You’re breathing. You’re in color, and I’m so happy you’re standing here.”

Wow. If that isn’t a statement to make someone reflect, I don’t know what is.

So text and IM and myspace and e-mail to stay in touch.

But set aside 10 minutes a day to call someone and have a conversation with real emotion and real interaction.

Meet someone for a five-minute coffee break on the way home from work.

Laugh, smile and hug in the real world. It’s so much better when you can.