It was going to be a train wreck. I knew it, the whole world knew it.

But still, I watched, hopeful that our little Britney would surprise us.

Instead of surprise, it was mostly shock and awe as she wriggled apathetically across the MTV Video Music Awards stage under what appeared to be the influence of some sort of mind-altering substance during her performance of “Gimmie, Gimmie.”

First she pranced back and forth in her bra and panties, then decided since she wasn’t doing a great job lip syncing, she just wouldn’t mouth the words either.

Combo’ed with a bad weave, her performance was sad. There was barely even booty-shakin going on.

MTV could have saved a truckload of money by hiring a stripper who’d at least be more enthusiastic about gyrating on the stage with the men Brit was dancing in and out of.

(She even grabbed at one of thier crotches, which I’m not sure was planned from the look on his face.)

Diddy looked as if he was ready to bolt. 50 cent just stared blankly in disbelief. Rhianna and the girl next to her exchanged knowing looks and uncomfortable giggles.

Apparently, being rich and young in Hollywood can buy you enough crack to help make a fool of yourself once again, this time in front of a live audience to be youtubed for the rest of her existance.

Check out this link to see Brit in action. http://www.mtv.com/overdrive/?id=1568788&vid=173440

On to why I couldn’t sleep last night, and a much better time spent in front of a flickering screen.

I had no problem falling asleep on the couch last night. It was when I moved into the bedroom and tried to fall asleep again that I went over every scenario possible concerning how I’d escape a psychopath if he broke into my apartment.

For those of you who know me. You know my love for horror movies.

And…you know my top three fears in the world: sharks, the dark and Michael Myers.

Laugh if you want. Go ahead. But my friends have the understanding that if anyone dresses up like Michael Myers for Halloween they will probably be punched simply from a gut reaction. (A side note. Shark costumes don’t bother me. You can dress like a shark.)

So, it was with a therapeutic intent that I went to see the new Halloween movie with a couple of friends last night. I’ve seen all the Halloween movies, multiple times.

This flick was disturbing and went back further into the reasoning and transformation of Michael before catching up to the main storyline everyone is familiar with.

It was bloody and startling.

I jumped like a high school girl several times. And, I know Michael Myers is a fictional character. However, I couldn’t help but try and play out what would happen if “Michael,” or any other mask-wearing, knife-wielding person were to bust down the door or through the window of my apartment.

Would I break for the door at the opposite end of the place? Would I remember to grab the keys? Would I run to the road, or into the woods (Not the latter, obviously, we all know what happens when you take off for the woods. That’s like asking to be murdered.)

The conclusion I came to was it would probably be beneficial to take off for the stairs and start knocking on everyone’s doors as I passed by. That would possibly wake the neighbors enough to call the police. And, it would provide many more victims for the assailant to choose from as they emerged sleepily from their homes, affording me the opportunity to escape.

I don’t know my neighbors. So, therefore, they are expendable.

As always, I’m not sure the remake was as good as the original…but it was worth seeing…especially for horror fans.

I figure it’s good training for the real world, too. Everyone needs their own escape plan in case of serial killer invasion.

I dunno about lunch. But there’s some other free stuff that’s making me a happy camper these days.

Looking for a free (and legal) way to find your favorite tunes and listen to them online?

Gotcha covered. Visit http://www.finetune.com and create your own profile and playlists. The service was created and is maintained by the survivors of Napster, Gigabeat and Listen.com. It’s perfect for listening to tunes at the office or at home. No, it isn’t a program to download the tracks to your mp3 player, although there is an option to purchase the tracks for use on iTunes. It’s specifically for listening enjoyment through the site. I haven’t found a song that isn’t on finetune.com yet. From Frank Sinatra to Gym Class Heroes, with even a little Bananas in Pajamas mixed in for the kiddies.

Tired of paying for 411 calls? Now you don’t have to.

Sure, it might take a little more effort or be a little less convenient. But hey…if it keeps the green in your wallet, isn’t it worth it?

Now there’s no more paying a buck 99 for 411 calls. There’s a free 411 service you can use.

Just dial 1-800-FREE-411 and be amazed.

Be warned, you will have to listen to a 20 or so second commercial. But then, there is your number. You can even have the number sent via text message to your phone if you don’t have a pen handy.

Standard text messaging fees apply. However, most people pay for their messaging service as part of a bundle plan. So, it’s really no big deal.

Even better than that program, in my opinion, is Goog-411, brought to you by Google labs.

There are no ads to listen to AND this service connects you for free. The only downside is that it is completely automated. If the computer doesn’t understand what you are saying, there is no human backup that eventually comes on the line. 1-800-Goog-411 has been successful for me every time I’ve used it.

Another free way to get your number is to use Google sms. Yup. It’s on your phone, too.

All you need is text messaging capability on your cell phone.

Text the name of the business you are looking for along with the city and state to GOOGL (46645) and wait a few seconds for a reply. Google will text back about four choices in and around your location. It’s really simply and I’ve begun to use the service a few times a week.

Last on the free stuff alert list is http://www.freecycle.org.

Be sure to check that site out. You can sign up and see what other members in your area are looking to unload for free. Sometimes it’s pets, sometimes furniture and appliances. Chances are, if you are looking for something, someone there has it.

You guys have any other suggestions for freebies? Let us know!

I understand more than I once did.

It’s not that I don’t care. Well, I don’t care as much as some people.

I just didn’t grow up with football. My school was small. We didn’t have a football team. In fact, my younger brother was on the school’s first football team in 1998.

My dad is a grease monkey and would rather be watching racing. Mom is a teacher and “Tom-boy” who’s favorite sport is baseball.

So you have me. One of the handful of southerners who can’t tell you what’s really going on.

OK, so it isn’t really that bad…anymore.

Football didn’t matter to me in high school. The only reason I attended games in college was because it was “strongly recommended” that Greeks make appearances at the games. It was more of a social event.

It wasn’t until I got my first real job as a journalist that I became aware of some of the game basics.

I was a television photog (a job I LOVED, by the way). That meant “Friday Night Football Fever” during the fall. Each of the seven photographers would cover three to five games a night, depending on the distance traveled.

The object was to hit a game, grab a few highlights from the field, cheerleaders, band and stands…then head to the next location. On the way, we’d call in the plays to base (the station) so that when we arrived back, all we had to do was edit the video. It was usually a close call. Because of the hour or more distance we’d travel to a game, in some cases the video was ready only seconds before the sports anchor began to read the script.

At any rate, I was forced to learn a little about the game. When I was training, I’d watch some of the guys who’d been in business a while shoot, then climb back in their units (vehicles) and call back the plays they liked without even having written anything down.

That just wasn’t me. I faked it.

Sorry Jeff and Andre (my mentors), I hate to destroy the illusion that I had some sort of clue what I was doing.

I recruited a friend, Justin, who worked in production to ride with me on Fridays. I taught him about shooting. He taught me a little about football. Mostly, I’d shoot and if it was a good play…I’d get Justin to write down what happened. It was teamwork at its finest.

So, I do know the basics. But not much more.

And now, I’ve been recruited to take part in this “expert” panel for the paper who’ll try to pick who will win upcoming college games.

Riiiiiight.

Can you predict that by choosing the team that wears your favorite color? ;~)

Maybe I need to find a patient football guru to show me the ropes.

I’m not as clueless as I was a few years back. But if you guys have pointers…feel free to throw them my way.